Hello white mutuals. Before you is a charcuterie board with 15 different types of cheese. If you manage to go 12 hours without touching the cheeses you can leave this room. Good luck.
I was eating off this cool cheese plate while you were talking can you repeat that pls
it doesn’t matter how much you tell tumblr that all their silly and bad features don’t work and you hate them because they’re not for you. they’re jingling keys to dangle in front of venture capitalists, the most gullible motherfuckers on earth, so they will keep pouring money into the giant money pit that is this website. this is also why all social media websites add features pretty much
you’re not meant to use tumblr live so it doesn’t matter that nobody is and everyone hates it. i mean obviously they’d like it if we used tumblr live but ultimately if you understand the incentive structures of social media companies you will recognize that the actual target audience of tumblr live is investors who will hear ‘we’ve added a video livestreaming feature to our site’ and think 'oh wow! thats like what tiktok is! and tiktok is growing! better throw another million dollars into this big pit full of fire!’
…does tiktok make money?
no lol i edited the post just now to remove the implication that it does. tiktok loses money but it’s growing which is, in the mind of the venture capitalist, an indicator that one day it will make money
90% of the digital economy has, for the last decade, been based on the completely ungrounded presumption that it is possible to directly transform daily active users into revenue at a profitable ratio
although its certainly a low-hanging fruit, “reblog to _ the person you reblogged from” is necessary stimulation and enrichment for horny women who are too shy to actually talk to each other directly
reblog to stimulate the girl you reblogged this from
condolences to everyone in this age of polls who has to see their favourite thing thrown in the ring against a wildly more mainstream character/piece of media armed only with a bad picture and worse description. stay strong.
“How deep into Star Wars lore are you?” absolutely no one asked me.
“Glad you asked! I’m compiling a list of canon-based Jedi swearing for when shit goes sideways and I need to know what kind of muttering Obi-Wan Kenobi would do,” I answer.
Most of us know “kark” or “dank farrik” as common sayings in the Star Wars universe, but what kind of expletives would a Jedi use? WELL, A FANCY ONE, FOR STARTERS.
I only very recently started compiling these, so it’s a small sample selection but a) they’re all very funny and b) if you have another one you can think of, give me a shout with the book/comic number and I’ll add it to the list.
IN THE MEANTIME, [lease understand that I could hear Obi-Wan Kenobi saying EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THESE.
Have some more fun ones:
TOOK YOU KRIFFERS LONG ENOUGH TO SHOW UP
DOES THIS ANSWER YOUR QUESTION, DRUKHEAD
I love it when Star Wars embraces its roots of really ridiculous sounding bullshit made up words you’re supposed to take semi-seriously.
You know who would know how to swear like a space sailor/pirate/smugger/bounty hunter?
THAT’S RIGHT, OBI-WAN KENOBI WOULD. THERE’S A REASON THEY HAD HIM GO UNDERCOVER AS RAKO HARDEEN AND HE FIT INTO THE ROLE SEAMLESSLY.
So have some hilarious bad seeds of the galaxy swears!
I 100% CAN BELIEVE OBI-WAN KENOBI WOULD SAY “WHAT IN THE CRIMSON RADIANCE” AND “PFASSK IT!”
